


Going For The Hug

by AlbusGellertAlways



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Merlin's Magic Revealed, Romance, the almost hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 13:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15462465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbusGellertAlways/pseuds/AlbusGellertAlways
Summary: Merlin can't understand why Arthur refused to hug him.  But what Merlin didn't know, was that, if Arthur had hugged Merlin, he never would've been able to stop.     Complete!





	Going For The Hug

 

Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine.

A/N: This is my take on the famous scene.  I wanted to take a break from Arthur Reversed and have some fluffy interactions be the boys.  Thus this was born.

.~.  
  
Going For The Hug  
  
.~.  
  
"Go away, Gaius!" Merlin yelled at the door.  The knocking grew more insistent, but Merlin ignored it.  The last thing he wanted right now was Gaius's pity.  The warlock just wanted to hide in misery in his tiny room on his tiny lumpy bed.  He'd even skipped dinner, not wanting to see Arthur just yet.  
  
Once again, Merlin had embarrassed himself in front of Arthur.  Wallowing in his humiliation, Merlin holed himself up in his room.  Merlin thought back to that morning.  After they discussed the troll, he and Arthur were moving towards each other, almost close enough that they could reach out and touch hands.  A giddy Merlin had thought that the prince had been going for a hug, so Merlin had stepped forward and held out his arms. 

_"Woah," Arthur had said, pulling his hand away from Merlin’s shoulder._

_"I thought you were going for a hug."  Merlin had managed to keep the panic from entering his voice.  All too late he realized that Arthur was only trying to pat his shoulder._  
  
"Noooo."  Arthur had stared at Merlin like he had a grave affliction.  
  
"No?" Merlin had mirrored Arthur's movements as he slowly brought his hands down to his sides.  Crushing disappointment coursed through Merlin as he blushed scarlet.

_A frowning Arthur had uncomfortably stepped back and had given Merlin a look that screamed 'you're an idiot' and not in a good way. The prince had looked like he was going to say something but thought the better of it._

_Merlin had chuckled to himself after Arthur had breezed away, needing to play it off as a joke because he had chores and right now he really couldn't deal with the fact that Arthur had refused to hug him._

Merlin frowned as he discarded the memory.  The warlock could rationalize this situation if Arthur wasn't such a tactile person, but the prince was known for his physicality.  Arthur wasn’t shy about it, either.  He often would ruffle Merlin's hair, start a pillow fight, even occasionally place a comforting hand on Merlin's shoulder, but those were usually during emotionally-charged moments.  Merlin lived for those moments, as he secretly harbored romantic feelings Arthur that didn’t seem to be fading anytime soon.    
  
Merlin didn't understand Arthur’s overreaction.  Merlin had seen Arthur hug his knights after a job well done in training.  Though to be fair, there was a lot less actual hugging and a lot more forceful back clapping.  Privately, Merlin called it the 'man hug'.    
  
Merlin went over and over the conversation in his head, agonizing over the reason why Arthur wouldn’t hug him.  Was it because they were in public and Arthur was protecting his image? Was it because Merlin, unlike the knights, was quite below Arthur's status?  Even worse, was it because Arthur didn't even consider Merlin as a friend worthy of a hug?  Merlin had thought they were friends.  Arthur had saved Merlin’s life several times with no regard to his own.  Surely that had to count for something.  
  
Arthur had once told him that no man was worth his tears, but Merlin begged to differ - Arthur was.  He’d admit to having shed some tears over Arthur when the prince was going into battle or another potentially life-threatening situation.  The weight of keeping his magic a secret, of watching Uther execute magic users, of keeping Arthur safe, of completing his duties as well as assisting Gaius had exhausted Merlin.  Plus there was the added weight of loving Arthur, and knowing that love would never be returned.  Some days, it was too much for Merlin to bear.  But bear it, he did.  For Arthur.  
  
Merlin was jolted back to the present when the door loudly creaked open.  Apparently, Gaius had decided not to listen to his pleas.  Merlin shut his eyes and turned away, his legs swinging over the bed as he faced the wall.  Merlin felt the bed dip as Gaius sat down beside him. "I said, go away, Gaius," the warlock said in a watery voice.  "I just want to be left alone."  
  
"I'm not Gaius."  
  
Merlin's heart fluttered at that beloved voice.  The warlock’s eyes flew open as he spun around to find Arthur sitting next to him.  Their close proximity wasn't lost on Merlin.  If he leaned in, Arthur would be within kissing distance.  _Get a hold of yourself_ , Merlin inwardly scolded himself.   _He probably just wants to give me more chores, not confess his undying love._

"Arthur, what-"  Merlin was abruptly cut off as Arthur's lips halted the rest of his sentence.   Had Arthur just read his mind?  If so, then Merlin should’ve tried this years ago.   
  
"Mmph!"  Merlin moaned in surprise as Arthur tried to deepen the kiss.  Frozen in place with shock, Merlin didn’t respond.  Then, to Merlin's disappointment, Arthur pulled away.  

 _Uh oh_ , Merlin thought, as his powers of logic and discernment returned.  He’d given Arthur the wrong signal.  They really were a right pair.  
  
"Shit.  I've cocked it up."  Arthur winced at Merlin’s wide-eyed expression.  "You don't want this.”  He gave a self-deprecating chuckle.  “I never should've assumed you wanted me back and-"  
  
"Shut up, you blind fool."  Merlin finally gave Arthur a knowing smile, shaking his head at the prince.  He couldn't believe Arthur was this dense.  Hadn’t it been obvious that Merlin had loved Arthur almost since the very beginning?

Merlin bravely captured Arthur's lips with his own.  When he gently ran his tongue over Arthur's closed lips, Arthur actually moaned.  He let Merlin in and suddenly they were attacking each other's mouths, releasing all the sexual tension that had crackled and fizzed between them for years.  
  
Had they kissed for a minute or an hour?  Merlin wasn’t sure.  Time seemed to stop as Arthur took control of the kiss.  He cupped the back of Merlin’s head, causing the warlock to sigh.   Then Merlin remembered something.   There was something niggling in the back of his mind, something he had to do before he could take this any further.  What was it?

Merlin was the one to ultimately pull away, dizziness overwhelming him as his perfect contact with Arthur disappeared.  “Arthur, please…”  Merlin didn’t know what he was asking for, only that he didn’t want to be separated from the prince.

Thankfully, Arthur figured it out.  He pulled Merlin in for a hug - a _real_ hug.  Merlin had never felt so safe or warm than being tightly held in Arthur's arms.  He rested his head on Arthur’s shoulder, inhaling the familiar musky scent of the prince.

“I don’t understand,” Merlin said, his voice muffled by Arthur’s shoulder.  “Why wouldn’t you hug me earlier?  What did I do wrong?”  
  
"If I'd hugged you earlier, I wouldn't have been able to stop," Arthur confessed.  "It wasn't a rejection, Merlin."  
  
"It sure felt like one," Merlin admitted, allowing for a trickle of hurt to seep into his voice. 

Arthur placed a sweet kiss on Merlin’s neck.  "I know.  I came here to explain myself to you, but you know me.  I believe actions speak louder than words.  I couldn’t stop from ..." Arthur trailed off.  "Doing all this.  I had to know if you wanted me or not."  
  
Merlin couldn't stifle a snort, pulling away from Arthur’s tight grip so he could watch Arthur’s expression.  "Arthur, there's no way anyone in their right mind would turn you down."  
  
"I didn't want just anyone.  I wanted you." Arthur smiled at him, gently caressing Merlin's cheek.  The warlock leaned into the touch, not certain how long Arthur would share his touches before his princely façade returned.  "I knew that if you wanted this, it would be because you wanted me for me, not because I am a prince."

Arthur went to capture his lips again and suddenly, Merlin _remembered_.   The floaty feeling vanished as reality came crashing down around him.   Merlin knew if he wanted to take this further - and he really, _really_ did - he had to tell Arthur his secret.  He wouldn't feel right about it otherwise.  
  
Merlin pulled away from Arthur’s affections.  
  
"What's wrong?" Arthur asked, looking concerned as he brushed Merlin’s bangs away from his face.    
  
"Arthur, I have to tell you something," Merlin rushed, tripping over the words as he attempted to confess his deepest sin.  "I have-"  
  
"You have magic."  Arthur calmly finished Merlin’s sentence for him.   
  
Merlin tensed, the fear hitting him like a lightning bolt as it crashed through his body.  He knew he should run, but Arthur wouldn’t let him get far.  "H-how did you know?"  
  
"I found out six weeks ago,” Arthur said, almost flippantly.  “You're not as sneaky as you think you are."   
  
Merlin couldn't tell from Arthur's expression what he was feeling.  That was never a good thing.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Merlin choked out, small sobs wracking his skinny form as the tears leaked out.  “I betrayed you in the worst way.”  
  
"Woah, Merlin, it's alright!" Arthur insisted, holding up his hands.  "Don't cry because of me, Merlin. I can't stand to watch you so upset."  
  
"I-I don't understand," said Merlin, hiccupping as he tried to slow his breathing.  "You should be angry with me."  
  
"Oh, trust me, I was.”  Arthur’s tone grew biting.  “I was _furious_.” 

Merlin flinched, and Arthur took care to soften his tone.   “You'd placed me in a terrible position.  What was I supposed to do about you?  I knew I could never turn the object of my affections over to my father to be killed.  I could banish you, but that meant a confrontation and I wanted to avoid telling you that I knew.  I could've had the guards dismiss you, but you would've found a way to come back and talk to me, which I also wanted to avoid.  So, you gave me no choice.  To uphold the law against magic, I had to make you leave on your own.  I did everything I could to make your life miserable, even placing you in the dungeons overnight for a minor offense, but you _still wouldn't leave_."

Arthur glared at Merlin, but his glare was tempered with fondness.   
  
Merlin’s jaw dropped.  " _That’s_ why you did all that?  Those were the worst two weeks of my life!”   Merlin shook his head at Arthur, letting the vulnerability seep through in his voice.  "I thought you hated me."  
  
"I did at first when I found out,” Arthur said quietly.  “Then I thought it through.  If you were planning to kill me, you'd have done it already.  Then I was afraid you'd enchanted me to fall in, er have feelings for you."  
  
"I wouldn't!" Merlin cried, but he grew quiet when Arthur held up his hand.  
  
"Let me finish.  I realized you hadn’t enchanted me, as you hadn't made any overtures toward me, which meant my feelings were my own.”  
  
Merlin nodded, holding back a lengthy explanation for his silence on the matter of his magic.  
  
"Then I was mad that you hadn't told me about the magic, but I understand why you didn't.”  Arthur gave him an apologetic smile.  “After that, I kept hinting about your magic, giving you the opportunity to tell me, but you never did.  How I wanted you to trust me.  Then I decided to confront you about it today, but you looked so miserable that I had to kiss you.  I'm glad you told me before we went any further."  
  
"I didn't get to, you interrupted me," Merlin automatically corrected him.  
  
"You were going to tell me."  
  
“Yes.  I wanted to tell you, so many times, but I was too scared.”  Merlin’s face crumpled and he turned away so Arthur wouldn’t see.

“Merlin, _look_ at me,” Arthur commanded.

Unwilling to disobey, Merlin looked back at Arthur.

“I don’t blame you,” Arthur said softly, his clear blue eyes meeting Merlin’s cloudy ones.  He reached out for Merlin’s hand and ran his thumb over Merlin’s palm.  “If it had been me with magic, I don’t think I would’ve trusted anyone with such a secret – not even my friends.  I forgive you.”

Merlin yanked his hand away as if scalded.  “I don’t deserve forgiveness.”  Then the warlock squared his shoulders, sitting ramrod straight as he addressed his prince.  "Arthur, I need to tell you everything that I've kept secret from you."  
  
"You don't have to right now," said Arthur.  He pulled a stiff Merlin closer.    “See how concerned I am?  I’d much rather do this.” He kissed his way down warlock’s neck, leaving a couple love bites on the way.

Merlin let out a tiny groan as he enjoyed Arthur’s ministrations.  But he didn’t completely fall under Arthur’s spell.  "Stop, I need to tell you," said Merlin, pulling away.    
  
Arthur immediately released him.  "Alright, whatever you need, Merlin," Arthur soothed.  He wiped away the tear tracks on Merlin’s cheeks.  "Can I hold you while you tell me?"  
  
Merlin nodded, not trusting himself to speak.  This was not going anything like he’d imagined.  At worst he thought Arthur would banish him and at best Arthur would shout at him and throw his breakable belongings at him.  Merlin hadn’t expected this loving Arthur who _cared_.  The warlock wasn't sure he deserved Arthur's affection, as he'd lied to the prince for so long.  
  
Merlin started to shake again, his many secrets bubbling up to the surface, threatening to spill out.  How could he trust Arthur with all of them?  
  
"Don't be scared," Arthur tried to soothe Merlin and coax him back into the prince’s arms but Merlin didn't budge.  “It will all be fine.”  
  
"How can you say that?  You don't know what I've done!" Merlin cried.    
  
"It won't matter."  
  
Merlin scoffed at Arthur’s naivety.  "Really?  Arthur, I set the dragon free and he killed your knights!  I promised him his freedom and I honored that promise, only he turned on me, exacting revenge on Uther."  
  
"I figured you might've been involved with the dragon escaping.  But you stopped him eventually," Arthur reasoned.  
  
"Yes, but not before he did irreparable damage.  I thought I was powerful enough to control him.  I was wrong and people _died_ because of it."  The tears flowed freely but this time Merlin allowed himself to be swept up in Arthur’s strong embrace.

“Just let it out,” Arthur encouraged.  He held Merlin until the last of the shakes subsided. 

Only then did Arthur offer his answer.  "While I mourn the lives lost, I understand why you freed the dragon.  It's my father's fault for locking him up in the first place.  He reacted as any caged animal would.  But next time, don't let your heart make decisions that could have lasting consequences."  
  
"Don't worry, I've learned my lesson," said Merlin.  Then he looked up at Arthur.   “How are you alright with all this?”

“I’ve had six weeks to process it,” Arthur reminded him.  

“Right,” said Merlin.

“What else?  Tell me," Arthur crooned.  
  
"There was a girl,” Merlin began.  “Her name was Freya and she had magic.  Your father imprisoned her in the dungeons.  I tried to help her, bringing her food and clothes.  We grew close and I kissed her.  I considered running away with her, away from you and our destiny, as you were being particularly mean to me that week.  I loved her, Arthur.  But only because I thought I couldn't have you."  
  
"What happened to her?"  Arthur asked, gently rubbing Merlin’s back as the warlock confessed.  
  
"Turns out she wasn't just a magic user.  Freya could change form into a bastet, a fierce black panther  with large wings, but she couldn't control her transformations.  At the stroke of midnight, she would automatically transform.  You killed her defending your knights."  
  
Arthur's heart plummeted as he considered his actions had hurt Merlin.  As far as he’d known, Arthur had only been defending his men from a magical threat.  "I'm sorry, Merlin.  I didn't know."  
  
"Even if you had, it wouldn't have mattered," said Merlin.  “You still would’ve had to kill her in bastet form.  She died peacefully, with me at her side.  I never forgot her."  
  
"And so you shouldn't," said Arthur, gently kissing Merlin’s forehead.  "What else?"  
  
Merlin rambled on, confessing all the secrets he'd kept from Arthur, most of them having to do with his magic.  He cried and shook between stories, Arthur always holding him tight as he murmured words of reassurance.  Finally, Merlin had run out of things to confess.  
  
"Anything else?" Arthur prompted.  
  
"That's all the big things," said Merlin, heaving a huge sigh of relief.  "There were small incidents, like a well-placed broken tree branch, or your opponents dropping their swords.  Any coincidental strokes of luck that you had, that was my magic.  I also added magical protection on your armor.  The spell didn't prevent you from being injured, as that would be too obvious, but it did soften the blows.   I did everything I could to keep you safe."  
  
"Thank you, Merlin, for all you've done for me.”  Arthur’s eyes held Merlin’s unflinching gaze.  “For bearing this burden on your own.  It must've been hell."  
  
"It was," Merlin admitted.  "But I had Gaius to confide in.  He helped me through it.  To be fair, he wanted me to use my magic as little as possible, so I’d stay safe."  
  
Arthur sighed.  "Gaius is absolutely right.  I must ask, Merlin.  Will you stop using magic, for me?  I wouldn't be able to protect you if my father finds out about it."  
  
Merlin’s diplomatic answer was, "I can promise that I'll be more careful.”  
  
"I didn't think you'd go for that, but I thought I'd try," said Arthur.   
  
"So what are you going to do with me?" Merlin tried to sound nonchalant, but he failed miserably.

"I'm going to pretend that I don't know you don't have magic," said Arthur, comfortingly tracing circles on Merlin's back as the newly outted warlock clung to him.  "At least until I become king.  Then I'll change the law."  
  
Merlin pulled away, his face lit with astonishment as he stared at Arthur.  "You'd do that for me?"   
  
"Oh yes.”  Arthur grinned at him.  “I've thought long and hard about this, Merlin.  You have proven to me that some magic users can be trustworthy.  You've had ample opportunity to kill me, but instead you remained my loyal servant, even though you have the power to take the kingdom for yourself.  I concluded there must be other magic users that fall in the same category as you, ergo the law must be changed.”  

“It sounds like a dream,” Merlin breathed. 

“It’s not just a dream.  One day, Merlin, your powers will be celebrated,” Arthur promised.   Then he realized something.  “I suppose it’s been humiliating, having all that power but having to live as my servant.”

"It's not so bad," said Merlin.  "I've gotten used to it.  When it's safe to use it, my magic helps me clean faster."  
  
"I'll have to change your duties, give you a promotion of sorts,” Arthur mused.  “No more mucking out the stables, no more hard labor, or doing laundry.  We have other servants for that.”  
  
"Really?" Merlin grinned.   
  
"Yes, but I'll still need you to bathe me and dress me and get my breakfast.  Although I hope our dynamic will change, now that we are..."  Arthur trailed off.  “Whatever this is.”  
  
"Do you want this to be long term?"  Merlin stared hopefully at Arthur, crossing his fingers.  If Arthur just wanted a casual dalliance, Merlin couldn’t do it.   He wouldn’t let that ruin their friendship, which must remain strong if they were to share a great destiny.  
  
"If you'll have me."  Arthur’s voice sounded strong, but Merlin noticed that his left hand shook while he spoke.  
  
Not wanting to keep Arthur in suspense, Merlin threw his arms around him.  “Always.”  
  
Their hot breaths mingled as they struggled to keep their emotions in check.  "I don't know how this will work, Merlin," said Arthur, sounding regretful.  "We'll have to keep this a secret as long as my father reigns.  And even when I become king, I don't know what will happen.  There is the matter of an heir.  But I do know that I won't give you up, no matter what."  
  
Tears gathered in Merlin's eyes at that.  “Arthur, we might have to give this up one day.  Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”  
  
“I _will_ keep you, Merlin, make no mistake about it.  And to show you that I'm serious about this, I'm going to court you, properly.  For a week.”  Arthur grinned at Merlin’s indignant sputtering response.  “Then, Merlin, so help me I will claim you.  That is, if you're willing.  If you want a more time to wait-"  
  
"No, that's fine.  It's more than fine." Merlin grinned.  "No one's ever courted me before.  It sounds like a lot of work.  You really don't have to."  
  
"I want to,” Arthur clarified.  “You deserve to be treated like a king.  I must make up for my earlier atrocious behavior.  Please, let me."  
  
"Yeah, alright," Merlin said shakily.  "But don't make me wait more than a week.  I've dreamed about you and me, you know, what we would do…in bed."  
  
Arthur gave him a smug smile.  "You can't even say it.  Come on, Merlin.  If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it."  
  
"Fine! I want you in me, alright?" Merlin glared at Arthur, his cheeks heating up as he considered what that would feel like.  
  
"I’m quite happy to oblige you,” said Arthur with a wink.  Then his expression sobered.  “I don't know how I'm going to resist you for a week."  
  
"We can still do other things," said Merlin.  "You know, leading up to that night."  
  
"I'd like that."  Arthur was looking forward to all the firsts, all the fumbling starts and stops, all the laughter and awkwardness that came with a new relationship.  He wanted it all with Merlin.  
  
"I'll be less nervous that way, if we slowly work up to it," Merlin confessed.    
  
Arthur gulped.  Did he have a blushing virgin on his hands?  "Merlin, have you ever?"    
  
Merlin shook his head.  "Not really.  Will and I had a few fumblings, but we didn't go that far."  
  
"Will."  Arthur scowled at the thought of the insubordinate boy from Ealdor.  " _I_ should've been your first."  
  
"You are, in all the ways that matter," Merlin assured him.  "I know you’re experienced with women, but what about men?"  
  
"I did it once with a man," Arthur admitted.  "I was fifteen, and I was drunk and melancholy, after my birthday feast.  One of the older knights asked if I was interested, and I said yes.  But I didn't know exactly what I was saying yes to.  He made me gag while sucking him and then he took me pretty hard."  
  
"Oh, Arthur, I'm sorry."  Merlin took Arthur’s hand and brought it to his lips.  “That must’ve been an awful experience.”  
  
Arthur shrugged, not wanting to dwell on it.  "It was a long time ago.  I felt dirty and used the next day.  It turned me off men for good, until now."  
  
"If we ever do that, I promise I'll be gentle," Merlin promised.  “But don’t feel like you have to, Arthur.   I’m more than happy to be taken.”  
  
"I know," Arthur said, his hands ruffling Merlin's hair.  "I wish I had more experience so I can make it good for you."  
  
"We'll figure it out together," Merlin promised.      
  
"Yeah, I guess we will."  Arthur gazed at Merlin with utmost affection. 

Merlin eagerly returned it.  They gazed at each other, connecting on a soul level that most people would never have or quite understand. 

"You know, before I didn't understand how my father could murder all those innocent people during the Purge after my mother died," Arthur reflected.  "Now, I do.  If someone took you from me, I would chase them to the end of the earth if I had to and kill all those who stood in my way.  The pyre would be too good for them.  I’d torture them first, and then burn them."  
  
"What?"  Merlin gave him a disbelieving look.  "You're not serious."  
  
Arthur shrugged.  "Pendragon men have deep feelings.  I could see myself possibly doing something similar if I lost you, if someone took what was mine."  
  
"Arthur, you can't," Merlin snapped.  "If you can't promise me you'll act logically if something happens to me, I won't be with you."  
  
Arthur frowned.  “That’s not fair.”  
  
"It’s absolutely fair,” Merlin glowered at him.  “Promise me you'd bring the person that hurt me to justice, and nothing more.”  
  
"Alright, fine," Arthur capitulated.  “I didn’t know you’d be such a girl about it.”

“Don’t scare me like that again,” Merlin scolded.  “I would hate to be the cause of another event like the Purge.”

“That was a stupid thing to say, I just… this is so new and I've never felt this protective before, about anyone.  The depth of my feelings, it's terrifying,” Arthur admitted.  
  
“I know the feeling.”  Merlin gave Arthur a fond smile.   
  
Arthur quickly found a way to change the subject.  "Now Merlin, just because we are together doesn't mean that you can ask me for special favors.  I can't let it be known that you're my favorite."  
  
Merlin laughed.  "I wouldn't stoop so low, Sire."  
  
"Good.  Stand up, please.” 

Merlin did so, a puzzled look on his face. 

Arthur motioned for him to turn around.  “You'll need new trousers," said Arthur, critically assessing Merlin's backside.  "This pair is much too threadbare.  I can't believe you didn't come to me about this sooner."  
  
"But you just said-" Merlin tried.  
  
"And your boots.”  Arthur cut him off.   “Your right toe is practically peeking out of the sole.  No, that won't do.  I'll have some made for you by next week.  And your neckerchiefs."  Arthur tutted as he reached for Merlin's ratty blue scarf.  "This one is falling apart."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with it," Merlin protested.  "They always look like that.  You never had an issue with them before."  
  
Arthur shrugged.  "You weren't mine then.   Tell you what, I'll get you two neckerchiefs and you can give me the old ones.  That’s an advantageous trade.”  
  
Suddenly, it hit Merlin, the reason behind this.  "Holy shit.”  Merlin stared at Arthur in disbelief.  “You want a favor of mine."  
  
Arthur awkwardly cleared his throat.  "’Course not.  Good Lord, Merlin, I’m not interested in favors."  
  
"Deny it all you want - you want my favor!" Merlin crowed.  "Are you going to keep it with you because it reminds you of me, because it smells like me?"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous," Arthur growled, his blush giving him away.    
  
"Very well, Sire," said Merlin, bemused.  "You can give me new neckerchiefs.”   But then he remembered something he’d heard from the maids.   “When you said you want to give me new things, is that in return for sexual favors?”

Arthur stared at him as if he’d sprouted horns.  “What are you possibly on about?”

“Some of the maids have received new clothes and trinkets from the knights or noblemen, but only if they regularly provide sexual favors.  I’m sure you’re aware of this,” said Merlin, as it was common knowledge.   “If that’s what you want, you can keep the clothes.   As much as I’m looking forward to giving you pleasure, there will be nights where I’ll be much too tired to go down on you.”

“Merlin, that’s insane!” Arthur exclaimed.  “I would never expect anything like that from you.”

“Oh, good.”  Merlin beamed.  “I just thought, as your servant, it might be implicitly assumed.”

“I’m hurt that you would even think that of me,” said Arthur, frowning.  “You are to be my partner in all things, Merlin, not my servant.  That’s just a role you’ll have to play until I’m crowned king.”

“So I’ll get to receive from you, then?”  This was more than Merlin had hoped for.  He’d doubted that Arthur would debase himself to do such things.  But he’d always dreamed of Arthur’s plump lips around his… well.  It was worth asking for.

“Of course.  It works both ways, Merlin.”  Arthur gave him a fond smile.  “Just don’t expect much finesse at the beginning, but I’m told that I learn fast.”

Merlin gave a hysterical laugh, at Arthur’s eagerness to please him.  “How do I deserve this, deserve you?”

“I think you’ve got it backwards, Merlin,” Arthur said quietly.  “It should be, how do I deserve _you_?  I’ve been horrible to you over the last few years.  I’ve put you in the stocks, I’ve thrown all manner of objects at you, I’ve yelled, I’ve screamed, I've put you down, I’ve threatened you, I’ve sacked you…”  Arthur sighed.  “You deserve better.   I will do my absolute best to be the man that you deserve.  But there will be days when I fall short.  My temper flares up at times, as you know.  But I will try harder.  Alright?”

Merlin nodded, touched by Arthur’s declaration.  “You are more than enough for me, Sire.”

Arthur sighed happily at that.   Then he considered something.  "Does Gaius know about your feelings for me?"  
  
"Yes," said Merlin with a blush.  "We'll have to tell him eventually.  He's quite sharp and will figure it out soon.  I'd rather him hear it from me."  
  
"Will you give it two weeks?” Arthur asked.  “I want to keep you all to myself, just for then."  
  
"I guess I’ll give you your two weeks," Merlin pretended to complain, sharing a secretive smile with Arthur.  “More than that, if you want.”  
  
“No, that will be sufficient,” said Arthur, trying to sound uppity and ultimately failing as he and Merlin dissolved into giggles.   They wrestled around on the bed until Merlin ended up nestled in Arthur’s arms.   Merlin felt Arthur’s gentle breathing on his neck.  Arthur’s steady heartbeat was lulling him to sleep.  Merlin didn’t want to sleep, as he might wake up and find that this was all a dream.

Arthur held Merlin until it was time for bed.  The prince reluctantly dismissed him, instructing Merlin to arrive a half hour early in the morning so he could properly ‘wake Arthur up’. 

“I’ll be there,” Merlin promised, wiggling out of Arthur’s arms to turn and face him.  “ _Arthur_.”  Merlin said the prince’s name like a caress, like a whisper in the dark of promises kept and those yet to be made.  “I exist for you."   
  
"My sweet Merlin.”  Arthur cupped Merlin’s face in both of his hands.  They rested their foreheads together.  Each man was in awe that, after all their secrets were shared, their friendship only grew stronger.  Their honesty built a foundation for a new relationship, one based on trust, love, and respect.  

Merlin couldn’t believe that, after only one week, he and Arthur could fully consummate their relationship. Needless to say, Merlin could hardly wait.

.~.  
  
The End

A/N:  Comments, questions welcome!   


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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